Things are so ridiculous anymore. Everyone my age is constantly trying to find out who they are. Trying to find their identity and who they are. Then I see things like all the bullshit “reality” TV shows that are around and all the Facebook quizzes that clutter my Facebook homepage I realized that nobody wants you to be yourself. Everyone wants you to be what someone else already is. They want you to be a copy. It’s so ridiculous that all this shit gets crammed down your throat no matter what. I haven’t watched a show on TV in a good year or so and I think that’s changed me but I’m not able to escape it. To totally escape it I’d have to live in a cabin in the woods like some hermit. I see this shit everywhere and I wish I didn’t. Everything is trying to influence me to be something I’m not and I’ll be totally honest, some of it works, other times, not so much. Even if it is only 1% that works to influence me, that 1% bugs the hell out of me. I wish everyone could just be themselves and not try to be someone else because they feel like they identify with a character on some fake TV show.
So I’ve successfully spent about 40 hours of the past 4 days at my job. Leave about 7 hours of sleep on average. That leaves about an hour to do whatever I want due to the 30 minute commute. That something ended up being eating at Denny’s with friends or just sitting and doing what could hardly be considered anything at all. It’s starting to sink in that I don’t know if I can hold down a real job for years of my life on end. To see my life get wasted away in an office somewhere just does not sound appealing to me anymore. I thought that may be what I wanted at some point but I don’t think I can do it anymore. Suit and tie, cubicle, air conditioning, and Starbucks just does not seem to settle well with me. I can’t see myself joining Bob at the watercooler to talk about last night’s episode of CSI while Jane walks by to get another donut from the break room. Maybe I’m just delusional to what a real office job is like but I hardly doubt it. I just need to find my bridge across the pit of people walking through life in a daze to join the few on the other side that have found their own bridges.
I want to download Cody Weber’s album Rainy Days but he isn’t posting a link to it yet. I’m going camping tomorrow and I really want to have it for the drive…
why are you boys so stupid???
Funny, I’ve been saying the same thing about girls.
…and I’m through waiting to see if it will ever pay off.
Once I get going I rarely slow down. It’s really weird that sometimes I just can’t find anything to talk about but once I do I can just go and go. I just wish I could find a girl that could keep up and have just as much to offer in conversation.
I just realized in roughly a month more than half of my friends are going to be gone.
Only a few hours away but gone none-the-less.
They are all going off to school and it feels like they are leaving me. I tried going with them but the system fucked me…hard. I thought I was doing the right thing in the past but that ultimately screwed me.
These thoughts scare me…
People always used to talk about how eventually everyone goes down their own path and friends move away and what not. Now that it’s actually happening it’s terrifying me to death.
I’m probably going to get a job just to afford gas money to drive to see them on a consistent basis.
I can’t live without friends.
why do most people, no one on tumblr in particular, seem so..
sad / lonely / low self esteem / unhappy?
the sun is shining outside, there’s a beer in a bar with your name on it and someone out there thinks you’re fucking awesome. and if you happen to meet someone who doesn’t think you’re awesome, fuck ‘em and go meet someone else.
i mean, come on. no one can make you happy but yourself. it’s not hard, it’s completely worth it and what else do you have to lose?
do what you love and fuck the rest. grab a beer and sit back and look at something worth looking at.
Probably because this is an outlet. At least personally this is where I put things that I don’t feel like talking about with anyone really but just need to get out there. Most of the time it’s unhappy because I don’t like talking to people about things that aren’t happy so this is the place to dump those thoughts.